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Better questions are to ask, 'How
much it will change my life?' or 'How
would I see life after the treatment?' I have
yet met a patient who has not changed his/her way of life, or idea about
life. Besides the little inconveniences caused by the long-term side
effects, NPC has changed my attitudes to life dramatically. I could only
pass on my own experiences, and you are encouraged to leave yours.
Going through the
treatment of a life threatening illness is like testing your own very
existence. I am fortunate to have my life extend. I see my current
extended life as my second life with His generosity. However it changes
the way I see life and changes the way that I would like to live the rest
of my life. It also changes my ideas on success as measured by fortune and
fame. Life has always existed, for all living things, in a state of
perpetual impermanence. We should enjoy what we have in life, instead of
marveling at what we might have lost. Therefore each day is an extra day I
should be thankful for; I owe it to myself to make it a day worth living.
In a practical way,
I slow down to look at things surrounding me; things that I have missed in
my previous life. I am looking forward to see the sunrise of each morning
because it is always unique. I stopped in my morning jog to admire the
flower blossoms (as well as catching my breath). I admired the brilliances
of the flowers of the Cotton Tree at early summer, the colours and shades
of the blooms from the Acacia trees in May. At work, I spent more time on
tasks I enjoy, as well as tasks that I oblige to do. At home, I spent more
time and attention with my little family. I live a more splendid second
life. It is unfortunate but true, it took a threat of death for me to
appreciate the meaning of life. Overall what I learned from this
experience is to be humble in front of benevolences. In my inevitable last
day (NPC related or otherwise), I know that it will be the happiness I
have with my family and the warmth from my friends which flashing through
my memory. I know that I would be grateful, and I know that I would be
smiling.
K T KO, Last
updated: 7th September 2001

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